Managing School Endings and Transitions

Managing School Endings and Transitions  

For many parents, the end of the school year is a logistical juggle: uniforms get too small, lunchboxes start going missing, and the calendar shifts to exams, tours, end-of-school events, summer camps and childcare rotas. But for children and teenagers, the final weeks of school carry a psychological weight that’s easy to underestimate. School isn’t just a place of learning - it's a place of attachment, routine, safety, and identity. When that structure shifts, children often feel it in their bodies and behaviours long before they can name it. 

This article explores school transitions and offers practical strategies to help parents support their child through this emotional landscape of change. We’ll look at three key transition points: class changes within the same school, moving from primary to secondary, and transitioning from secondary to college or adult life. 

1. Class Changes: When Familiar Faces Shift 

Even when a child stays in the same school, the change of teacher or classmates can feel like a massive rupture in their world. Many children, especially those who are neurodivergent or have high attachment needs, thrive on predictability (Emerson & Costley, 2023; Stark et al., 2021; Sinha et al, 2014). They may have spent the year building a relationship with one teacher, and when that ends, it can feel like losing an anchor. Teachers and school staff can often become a sort of secondary attachment figure - someone who offers stability, understanding, and encouragement in a world that can feel chaotic (García-Rodríguez et al., 2023). When that figure disappears, even with advanced warning, a child’s sense of security can wobble. 

You might notice your child becoming more emotional in the last few weeks of term. Maybe they’re acting out more at home, clinging to you at the school gate, or suddenly forgetting how to do stuff independently that they were able to do before. It’s not unusual for children to regress during times of transition, even when the adults around them are excitedly talking about the summer holidays (UNICEF, 2021). Try not to over-correct or panic. Instead, validate what they’re feeling: “You really liked Mr. Duffy. It’s okay to feel sad that he won’t be your teacher next year.” Keep your own routines at home as steadily as you can. Offer them small ways to say goodbye or mark the change. This could be a thank-you card or a drawing about what they hope next year will be like.  

If you already know their new teacher’s name, gently introduce it into conversation. Keep your tone curious and calm rather than overly cheerful. Something like “I wonder what Ms. Ní Bhraonáin will be like? Maybe she loves music too?” can help create space for your child’s imagination to get involved without forcing a particular narrative. 

2. Moving from Primary to Secondary: Big Pond Energy 

This is a huge leap. One minute, your child is the oldest, biggest fish in a small pond - comfortable, confident, and possibly even bored. The next, they’re the youngest fish in a sea of new faces, new routines, longer days, and an avalanche of expectations. The emotional shift is enormous. In primary school, your child may have relied on one or two trusted adults for everything. In secondary, that support is often fractured across subjects and staff.  

There’s a lot to get used to: navigating timetables, managing lockers, adjusting to stricter rules, figuring out new social codes, new smells, new rooms, new everything. Academic demands increase, and so does the sense of comparison. Confidence can dip, and self-esteem might take a hit, even in kids who “seemed ready” (Spernes, K. 2020). One of the most helpful things you can do is take the route together, talk about logistics (yes, even how to work a locker), and offer them tools to organise their new life. Visual schedules, shared calendars, or even just a written-out daily routine can be a huge help. At home, keep communication open, but low pressure. You don’t need a full download every day. Sometimes it’s enough to say, “Hey, I’m around if you want to talk about school stuff.” And for those who are neurodivergent - autistic, ADHD, or simply wired for more structure - the transition may take longer and require more scaffolding. Orientation visits, sensory tools, downtime after school, and a key point of contact within the school can all make a difference.  

3. Leaving Secondary: College or... Something Else 

The transition out of secondary school doesn’t come with a clear-cut path. Some students head to college, others to apprenticeships, some take time out, and others... aren’t quite sure yet. 

This isn’t just an academic shift - it’s an identity one (Christiaens et al., 2021). It’s the first step toward adult autonomy, and for many teens, it brings up a swirling mix of grief, excitement, fear, and relief. And let’s be honest: not every young person is ready to leap into third-level education right away. And that’s okay. There’s often immense pressure to have it all figured out. But the truth is, plenty of teens need time. Time to recover from exam stress. Time to explore. Time to exist without deadlines. For neurodivergent young people especially, jumping from a heavily structured school life into the ambiguity of college or work can be jarring. 

What they do still need - despite how grown-up they might act - is you. Not in the same way as before. But your emotional presence is still critical. They may not want cuddles or daily check-ins, but knowing you’re in their corner, backing them without judgment, is powerful. Text them silly memes. Leave a snack for them when they’re studying or job hunting. Mark the milestone with a small ritual, even if they’re not into formal celebrations. 

And watch for signs of struggle. Withdrawal, irritability, sleep disruptions, or risky behaviour might all be their way of saying, “I’m overwhelmed.” Be their anchor, not their fixer.  

Final Thoughts: Transitions are Emotional Work 

Children and teens don’t always say “I’m sad/angry/upset about this change.” They show it. In how they act, how they sleep, how they eat, and how they relate. These aren’t setbacks, but rather, bids for connection. You don’t need to fix the change. Just hold steady. Whether your child is five and missing their teacher or eighteen and figuring out what comes next, your calm, consistent, non-judgmental presence is the most powerful support you can offer. And, of course, if your child seems especially overwhelmed or stuck, MyMind can offer them a safe, supportive space to process big feelings. You don’t have to wait for a crisis - sometimes just having a neutral adult to talk to makes all the difference. Reaching out is a sign of strength, not failure. 

References 

Christiaens, A. H., Nelemans, S. A., Meeus, W. H., & Branje, S. (2021). Identity development across the transition from secondary to tertiary education: A 9-wave longitudinal study. Journal of Adolescence, 93, 245-256. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2021.03.007 

Emerson, A., & Costley, D. (2023). A scoping review of school-based strategies for addressing anxiety, intolerance of uncertainty and prediction in autistic pupils. Education Sciences, 13(6), 575. https://doi.org/10.3390/educsci13060575 

García-Rodríguez, L., Redín, C. I., & Abaitua, C. R. (2023). Teacher-student attachment relationship, variables associated, and measurement: A systematic review. Educational Research Review, 38, 100488. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.edurev.2022.100488 

Gitelson, I. B., & McDermott, D. (2006). Parents and their young adult children: Transitions to adulthood. Child Welfare, 853-866. https://www.jstor.org/stable/45398787 

Sinha, P., Kjelgaard, M. M., Gandhi, T. K., Tsourides, K., Cardinaux, A. L., Pantazis, D., Diamond, P. D & Held, R. M. (2014). Autism as a disorder of prediction. Proceedings of the national academy of sciences, 111(42), 15220-15225. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1416797111 

Spernes, K. (2020). The transition between primary and secondary school: a thematic review emphasising social and emotional issues. Research Papers in Education, 37(3), 303–320. https://doi.org/10.1080/02671522.2020.1849366 

Stark, E., Stacey, J., Mandy, W., Kringelbach, M. L., & Happé, F. (2021). Autistic cognition: Charting routes to anxiety. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 25(7), 571-581. 10.1016/j.tics.2021.03.014 

UNICEF (2021, March). Child regression: What it is and how you can support your little one. UNICEF. https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-development/what-is-childhood-regression